I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
