'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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