so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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