I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize