I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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