I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize