There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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