I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
