tell your sister to shave her snatch
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
