Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just want to make out with him forever
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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