he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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