he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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