Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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