who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
