I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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