Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
a search helicopter?!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
