Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
