I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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