I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
