She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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