I like my sex mixed with concussions.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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