ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
