so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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