Swine flu. Run for my life!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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