There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
