Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
