i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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