Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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