She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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