the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
