they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
