Betty ford says i'm here all night
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The air was thick with penises
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
