Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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