If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Please don't give away my fajitas
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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