Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
