All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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