I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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