i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
