Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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