apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
