oh god the rape fog is back!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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