Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
