It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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