Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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