even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
