she was so not down for the gang bang
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
