3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
only you would photoshop your dick
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
