your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
