My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
