1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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