so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
