to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
