I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
