Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
