I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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