Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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