there's paper in my vomit.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
They took my balls.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
