You're so nebulous sometimes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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