Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize