if i died would you start the facebook group?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So vagazzling was a success
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
