I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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