your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
