i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
