I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
