Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
